I'm diving into my dream

I've browsed the job postings online for seven weeks now, applying for those that caught my interest, but I don't think I have the drive I had when I was seeking a job with my last employer.

Hmmm, maybe being downsized has changed me more than I realized.

Or maybe it hasn't changed me. Maybe it's just pushed me to get to know myself, understand myself better.

Hopefully this helps launch
me into a successful
freelance career!

For seven weeks, I've been dreading having my life be dictated by the hours from 8 to 5 doing something I have only luke-warm feelings for. I also don't want to wait around for someone to recognize my talents and what I can contribute to an organization.

I've decided to do it. To follow my gut instinct. To dive into a dream. To be a boss ... to me. To launch myself as a full-time freelance writer.

Now is the time, and it feels so right. I'm sure of it. 98 percent sure. It's scary though! And some might say it's a bit risky. But I don't think it's as risky as giving up the happiness and peace I've found during the last seven weeks by going back to a corporate life right away.

Over the last seven weeks I've also learned that nothing in life is guaranteed, or forever. You can dedicate the majority of your life to a job, an organization, and have it taken away from you the very next day. So why should working for myself be any scarier?

I've learned I have to live for me. No one else will watch out for me. I have to watch out for myself.

I've also learned that what's right for others might not be right for me, and I need to quit comparing myself or I'll never stay happy. I'm an introvert. Only 25 percent of the population identify themselves as introverts. I should be used to being different and wanting different things in life.

This is a face I won't have to
miss everyday!

Diving into my freelance career makes so much sense right now. It's flexible. With an 8-to-5 job (or 6, 7 or 11), I left for work while Emerson was sleeping and returned home just in time for fussy hour (or hours). With a freelance lifestyle, I can be home during the best part of the day with Emerson, the hours where he smiles and plays and I can teach him things. Every single day.

With a freelance career, we don't have to pick up and move right now, but we can if we want to! The choice is ours. If my husband lands a stellar job in another city, let's go! I can write from the comfort of my home (or the local coffee shop) anywhere in the world with a wireless connection.

I also can choose to work as much or as little as I want to. A fat paycheck is up to ME, not a human resources department that has no idea what I do everyday. And I choose which projects I want to work on.

I read in a magazine article a few days ago that during a study, people who followed their gut instinct picked the right choice 90 percent of the time. I'm a dreamer. My gut is telling me to follow this dream, right now.

Sure, I will continue to browse the job postings, and I will continue to apply for jobs that look like wonderful opportunities that might be good fits for me and my family. There are specific companies I could see myself giving up the freelance life to go to work for. I've learned the importance of keeping my options open.

I take this leap forward in peace. That's because I've realized that I can change the course of my life whenever I want to. I didn't realize this until my company changed my course for me. If six months from now, freelancing no longer works for me, then I go to work for someone else. And in six months if that job no longer works for me, I explore something different. I decide what's right for me. I choose my course. Always.